You love your husband. You enjoy sex with him. Those are the two important assumptions on which this article is based. If they are true for you, great! I love happy, romantic marriages.
But there still might be a little problem: your husband just seems to be "in the mood" a bit more often than you are. There are nights when he wants to make love but your own passion meter is hovering near zero, and you'd much rather just snuggle up with him and go to sleep.
So what should you do?
I recommend that you begin a new strategy--one that:
In other words, this new strategy can turn your bedroom problem into an exciting, sexy asset.
What is it that creates this miracle? Well, as the title of this article suggests, you say no in a sexy way.
But there is more to this new strategy than how you word your response to your husband, although that is part of it. By what you say, how you say it, and what you do while you're saying it, you need to show him that:
Projecting such an image to your husband is vital to saying no in a way that will have a positive, rather than negative, effect on him, on you, and on your love life. Playful, teasing antics can also play an important role in creating a sexy no. With the assurance that you truly do desire him and enjoy sex with him, he can delight in your antics, his desire for you will build over the next day or two, and sex can take on new excitement for both of you.
It's important to add, however, that saying no "in a sexy way" need not always be something elaborate or clever. Believe me, men can find the smallest thing incredibly sexy!
"How to Say No In a Sexy Way" was actually the original idea that launched this Web site many years ago with the story, "Laurie Adds Pizzazz." Since then my stories have expanded beyond that issue to include many images of happy, romantic, and sexy married life. However, Laurie's new strategy in that first story weaves itself into many of the stories, showing romantic reasons and practical ways my two heroines, Laurie and Nikki, occasionally "say no in a sexy way" when their amorous husbands want to make love.
Here's a beautiful email I received from a wife after she read my very first story, "Laurie Adds Pizzazz":
Thank you for writing such a wonderfully sensual story without being trashy! I've read many "trashy" romance novels in my days before knowing Christ, but this story was just as sensual (even more so) than any of the explicit stories written by authors that shall remain unnamed. I will certainly be seeking out more of your stories! You have inspired me to be more romantic with my husband. I always tell him he doesn't give me the chance to be "in the mood," he's after me so often, but your story gives me some new ideas! Thank you and God Bless you and your wife.
As of this writing, I have posted 31 short stories. They are happy, romantic stories that explore different romantic ways a couple can have fun with each other in marriage by being playful in the way they use sex. The romance is sometimes tender, other times humorous, but always within a sweetly sexy atmosphere. Using both everyday experiences and sometimes very special romantic settings, I explore the important role sex can play in a romantic marriage--the daily experiences, banter, and playful behavior that lead to love-making. These stories capture my idea of a happy, romantic, and sexy marriage--and my idea of the ways sex can add fun to a marriage.
There is something I might call a sexual paradox. Men, of course, are visually stimulated, which explains why in most marriages (though not all) the husband is in the mood for sex more often than his wife. So one might at first think that a husband will have the most exciting, satisfying sex life if his wife lets him have sex every time he wants it. The paradox is that this probably is not the case. According to one expert I've read, it can actually make sex less exciting for both of you. Sex loses its aura of "mystery," one of its critical elements.
You can keep this from happening for both of you by your new strategy--the occasional sexy no.
So in contrast to this sexual paradox, here are some of the ways your new strategy can make sex more exciting for both of you:
These are some of the ways this new strategy can make your love life more exciting and satisfying for both you and your husband.
Your option of using the "sexy no" on any given night also offers you the freedom to make your marriage romantic in other ways in addition to sex per se. Here are a few of them.
First, innumerable books and articles on marriage emphasize the importance of touching and non-sexual affection on a daily basis: holding hands, putting your arm around him while watching a movie, gentle caressing, etc. Many wives would like to be more affectionate with their husbands but hesitate because they're afraid it might make him want sex when they're only in the mood for cuddling. With this new strategy, you have the solution to that problem. Make your marriage a truly affectionate marriage! You will both love it!
By the way, a wise wife will be especially affectionate on those nights she has said no. Snuggling up to your husband and being extra affectionate as you settle in for sleeping goes a long way to assure him of your love and abiding desire for him. Wouldn't you love falling asleep this way too?
Second, this new strategy also gives the opportunity to wear that really sexy lingerie on a daily basis that both you and your husband love. It will add excitement on nights you make love, and a sexy no in sexy lingerie will raise your husband's passionate desire for you to new levels!
Third, this new strategy similarly gives you the freedom to wear nice clothes, pretty clothes, and yes, sexy clothes around the house, again more or less on a daily basis. Looking pretty and/or sexy goes a long way to keep you the center of your husband's world. Does he find leggings sexy? Short skirts? Go for it! It'll also give you the opportunity to have fun with some playful teasing.
It's God's plan for marriage that a husband should desire his wife. Now you can go ahead and be that desirable wife without worrying about having sex when you're just not quite in the mood.
Of course, be forewarned: your husband's seduction technique some night might very well so stir your own passion that saying no will become the last thing on your mind!
I have only scratched the surface here. The short stories I've written explore all the themes in this article and more. Through different scenarios and settings, these stories explore many ideas for humorous romance, tender romance, and sexy romance, but they all portray marriage in a romantic and loving aura. If they inspire you and give you ideas for making your marriage more romantic, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you.
In closing, I will answer the question I'm sure many of you have at this point. Yes, my wife definitely believes in this new strategy!
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