It was Friday afternoon, and Laurie and I were expecting company that evening. A young recently engaged couple, Mike and Keri, were coming over. They were from our church and had gotten the impression that we had a happy marriage. Apparently, they were hoping we could give them a few pointers to get them off on the right track. This was certainly going to be a new experience for us: who would have thought that we would ever be doing premarital counseling! The plan was to talk for the first part of the evening and then go out to a restaurant for dinner.
How much wisdom we would be able to impart, it seemed to me, was highly questionable. But they were right about one thing: Laurie and I were very happy together.
She and I had spent at least an hour the day before coming up with a list of topics we thought might be beneficial to mention. Not that we would be able to exhaust even these subjects, but perhaps we could get them thinking and direct them to some books in order to pursue those issues further.
We were expecting Mike and Keri about 5:30. It was now 4:30. Laurie had just taken a shower and was standing in front of the bathroom mirror blow-drying her hair. She had on only her bra and panties. What a sweetly sexy sight! Not a blatant display of raw sexuality, and certainly not vulgar. Just the casual intimacy that comes in marriage and that can really excite a husband! And though the scene was not ostentatious in any way, I have no doubt that Laurie understood these dynamics. She seemed to have an innate sense of what a man, me in particular, finds irresistibly appealing and how to make a man feel good about himself as a man, if you catch my drift. Not all girls have this sixth sense, but I suspect with a little care, it can always be developed. Anyway, I manufactured a number of reasons that necessitated trips past the open bathroom door.
During one of my ogling trips, I noticed that she had put on one of my favorite bras: her red one that clipped in the front. To have matching colors, she was also wearing a pair of bright red, silky panties. Of course, the color match was not exact. Foolishly, the makers of women's lingerie usually sell matching bra and panty sets only with bikinis (or worse). I like the full-cut variety and find them far sexier, so that's what Laurie always wore.
I was in the bedroom just beginning to get dressed myself when Laurie came in from the bathroom, still dressed in nothing but bra and panties. After rummaging around in a drawer, she managed to extract a pair of sheer-top pantyhose and sat down on the bed. I had been watching carefully to see what would come out of that drawer because on really special evenings, she might wear a garterbelt with traditional nylon stockings. Sometimes she would wear thigh-high nylons that stay up on their own. Apparently, though, tonight was going to be pantyhose. Naturally, I kept one eye on her as she began putting them on. Watching her do that has always been most enjoyable for me.
Of course, a man can view the procedure of his wife putting on pantyhose from two different perspectives. As a physicist, I have found the various maneuvers she is required to execute to get into a pair of those delightful articles to be rather fascinating from an engineering standpoint. First, while sitting on the edge of the bed, she scrunches up an entire leg of material using both hands until the remaining portion has assumed the size of bobby socks. Then she carefully inserts a foot. While extending her leg out, the material is slowly unrolled all the way up to mid-thigh. Next, incredible as it may seem to a male observer, the leg that presumably was just put into place with considerable effort is then pulled back down at least to the knee so that the entire procedure can be repeated with the other leg. After both sides of the pantyhose have been pulled up to the thighs, it is then necessary to stand up to execute the next step, for they have to be pulled the remaining distance up to the waist. Depending on the size of the derriere over which that has to take place, this step can be the most difficult. Laurie, however, has a great figure, so the struggle at this point is minimal. There remains one final step to complete the procedure. She has to grab the nylon material starting at the ankle and methodically stretch it, working it up along the entire leg. This is then repeated for the second leg, and viola! The pantyhose are on.
That is the engineering perspective. And, yes, one "could" view the process of putting on pantyhose in this way. However, when a man like me with a very healthy libido watches this process, physics and engineering are generally not the primary focus of his attention. From another perspective, then, one can watch his wife put on pantyhose for the pure delight of the vision itself. During the process, shapely legs are extended and nylon slowing smoothed into place. The entire female figure from the waist down is then in plain view, with its contours carefully shaped into glistening, exquisite form by the somewhat tight-fitting pantyhose--through which the observer is generally able to see a relatively clear, unobstructed vision of panties underneath. The entire effect can be breathtaking and a very stimulating experience indeed! That, by the way, was my point of view this afternoon.
Sometimes, again on somewhat special occasions, Laurie will follow the arduous task just described by putting on a pantygirdle, another item of intimate apparel I find very alluring. But it had now become apparent that tonight would be just a pantyhose night.
At this point, Laurie was bending over slightly to look through another drawer somewhat lower, presumably for a blouse. I positioned myself behind her. With that incredible, panoramic view, I could contain myself no longer. I was pretty turned on, and I got this sudden, irresistible impulse. I walked over to her, put one arm around her shoulder, and with my other hand took her by the arm and slowly lowered her downward until we both were sitting on the bed side-by-side. I reached up and touched her face. Working my hand around, I gathered her hair between my fingers, cradling her head. Laurie responded by pressing more firmly into my hand, and I could see that she had closed her eyes. Gently turning her face toward me, I said, "You really look sexy! Let's do a quickie right now before they get here."
No doubt Laurie had thought I was just being affectionate, for I often am that way. We love to touch each other. But with my last statement, all of a sudden she opened her eyes and a smile broke out on her face. Laughing a little in surprise, she said, "No, no, weï¿½re not going to have sex now!" She shook her head in affected dismay. "Men...so easily stimulated! You lose all sense of proportion."
Her words in print could be misinterpreted as a criticism. However, her demeanor and intonation made it very clear that she was quite pleased with the effect she had on me.
I laughed. "You're right about that!"
Laurie touched my nose with the tip of her finger as she concluded sweetly, "And that's why the girl needs to control these situations."
I just smiled and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Well, never any harm in trying!" We both laughed again, and I got up to continue dressing.
Laurie found the right blouse, short-sleeved and light blue. Next came a half slip. The skirt she picked out was one of my favorites: a pleated skirt in something like a highlander plaid.
Watching Laurie put on a skirt was another of my cherished activities. She stepped into it and pulled it up much like a guy puts on pants. But fortunately (for me) it must be difficult to get the blouse tucked in properly. Therefore, after getting the skirt on, she usually finds it necessary to reach down with both hands, grab it by the hem, and pull it all the way up so she can smooth her blouse down from underneath. For those brief seconds, she is standing there with skirt up and panties visible. Sometimes I feel like I need a cold shower when she does that!
Now fully dressed, Laurie stood there for a moment looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her skirt stopped just short of her knees. How pretty she looked!
Now that Laurie was done, I was able to keep my mind focussed on getting myself dressed.
Mike and Keri arrived on time. We all sat down in the living room and engaged in some small talk for a few minutes. Then I broached the subject that was the purpose for our get-together.
"Mike, Keri," I said, looking in turn at each of them, "we really are flattered that you think we might be able to help you start a successful marriage. But look guys, we haven't been at it that long ourselves, and we certainly don't have all the answers. A good, strong marriage takes time, really many years, to develop. It takes hard work and a commitment to make it work. But we'll do our best tonight, and we do have a few books we can recommend."
"That's great," Mike said. "Just what we were looking for." Both Mike and Keri leaned forward in their chairs a bit and gave every impression of real interest in what we were going to say.
That was how the discussion got started. We talked about the basic structure of marriage. The man was the head of the family. We stressed the importance, in our view, of the traditional marriage vows where the wife promises "to love, honor, and obey." We also emphasized that a wife's primary responsibility was that of homemaker.
We next mentioned that there are some rather standard problems that all couples face in marriage. Probably the three most common sources of trouble are money, in-laws, and sex.
Concerning in-laws, I said, "Avoid criticizing each other's parents. If one of you criticizes his own parents, the best strategy for the other is to say as little as possible! Make some minor comments and perhaps some helpful suggestions, but that's about it." We also mentioned that for holidays, Laurie and I found that it was far wiser to have separate parties for the two sides of the family.
Concerning money, I told them that we thought it was most consistent with our concept of marriage for me to handle the family finances, pay the bills, and make the final decisions, after, of course, seeking Laurie's opinion. We even discussed the nitty-gritty details of how you can keep a joint checking account in balance even though both have a checkbook. Mike would keep the detailed register with the current running balance. Whenever Keri wrote a check, she would simply record date, amount, and to whom payable. Then once a week, say, Mike would transfer the information to his checkbook's register. He would keep Keri informed of the balance. Next we talked about living within your means and mentioned both the proper use and misuse of credit cards. Finally, we explained how one might go about putting together a rough budget.
Then we got to sex. Somehow, I suspected that this is what they both were really waiting for. "This is a multifaceted subject," I said. First, we all agreed that sex was limited to marriage. Second, we discussed a little about birth control options. We all believed that abortion was not one of those options.
"The next aspect," I continued, "is the mechanics of the act itself--how do you do it?" I mentioned one or two good "marriage manuals" that discuss anatomy, techniques, etc. "I don't want to get explicit here. That would be embarrassing for all of us. Both of you just read these books and discuss them before your wedding."
Laurie made the fourth point. She stressed the importance of showing daily affection. "Touch each other often. Hold hands. Put your arm around him. Sit snuggled up while you watch television. Snuggle up in bed. I'm not talking about preludes to sex here. I'm talking about non-sexual, physical affection. It's so important to a marriage. Of course, sometimes this can lead to sex, but what I'm talking about is for everyday."
Our plan now was for Laurie and I both to discuss the fifth aspect, probably the most crucial. Laurie was going to talk about a man's needs to Keri, while I said something about a woman's needs to Mike.
"Sex is one of the most important aspects of marriage," Laurie began, "maybe in a sense the most important aspect. Terry and I have been married for a number of years now and have our experiences to draw on, but some of what I want to say here is also based on reading that we've done. And, again, whole books are written on this subject. We're only scratching the surface here.
"A good sexual relationship is vitally important to both husband and wife, but for slightly different reasons. Men generally have a strong sex drive. It's physical, it's visually stimulated, it's almost continual, and once ignited, it's ready for immediate gratification. For those of us with a high view of marriage, the only way that need can be satisfied is by his wife."
Laurie stopped and smiled shyly. "That sounded like quite mouthful, didn't it? Well, there's a bit of experience there, but I got that way of putting it from one of our books."
Then Laurie returned to her more serious tone. "But a man's sex drive is closely linked with his own self-image as a man. A man can endure failure in any other area in life as long as he is successful in the bedroom. But if he considers himself a failure there, other successes have little or no meaning. To a man, being unsuccessful in the bedroom means failure in life.
"That's were we come in as wives. Obviously, we provide him the opportunity to fulfill this powerful drive. But there's more to it than that. A man doesn't want a wife who just passively lays down on the bed as a marital duty. His really deep need is satisfied only when she makes him think she wants and needs his love-making. A wise and loving wife will go out of her way to let her husband know how much she enjoys their physical relationship. And its ecstatically stimulating for a man when his wife, on occasion, even initiates sex.
"A wife should be sexy for her husband," Laurie continued. "Keep yourself in shape, look pretty when he comes home. And don't be shy. One of our books makes this point with rather explicit language: 'male eroticism' fulfilled within the home does not hunger for more outside the home."
At this point, I took over and looked primarily at Mike as I spoke. "But a good sexual relationship is also important to a wife. She too has erotic needs and a sex drive. However, for the most part, it is not visually stimulated, and it doesn't become aroused nearly as fast as a man's. A woman really needs two things to become sexually aroused. The first thing she needs is the proper foundation, the right emotional basis. Emotionally, she needs a continual demonstration of her husband's love. She needs his companionship, she needs romance from him, and she needs physical affection--pretty much on a daily basis. When these are in place, you can ignite her sex drive, and she'll desire you as much as you desire her. Your love-making then becomes the ultimate consummation of your love for each other."
Laurie cut in, focusing on Mike: "I want to underline that need for romance. I think almost all girls have a huge need for romance and love being romantic, when we're dating and when we're married. A romantic husband is very stimulating! Flowers, music, soft lights, dinners out, opening doors for her, taking her hand or arm while walking, romantic music, nights in front of the fireplace cuddling each other, special surprises, romantic gifts...The list is almost endless. Be romantic, and you'll forever be her Prince Charming!"
Mike smiled. "Yeah, I've become aware of that! From the guys I've observed, men don't seem to have much of a need for romance, much less a gift for being romantic. But I'm beginning to pick it up."
"Yeah, it definitely can be learned," I added. "And her response to it will amaze you and make it well-worth your effort. It's also true that the more you are romantic, the more you'll get to enjoy it yourself--and enjoy those romantic things your wife will do for you!
"But let me get back to the two points I was making. The second thing a wife needs to become sexually aroused is more direct. In a word, it's foreplay. Although men can enjoy foreplay too, we don't really need it. Our desire for sex is ignited very quickly, and we're ready to do it! But a woman needs tender, physical foreplay, maybe even a half hour's worth before she is really ready.
"Now again, I don't think we want to go into detail here. Different woman respond to different types of foreplay. You just have to read the books and then learn from experience what Keri really likes.
I paused, but no one else spoke, so I continued.
"There's one other difference between a man's sex drive and a woman's. Now this is not universal, but for many couples it seems to be true. The man's sex drive, as Laurie said, is pretty much continual: it only needs the right visual stimulus to ignite it. A woman's sex drive is not quite that even but fluctuates to some extent with the menstrual cycle. The bottom line is that even though your wife may thoroughly enjoy making love, she might not be in the mood quite as often as you are."
This had been pretty much what Laurie and I had planned to talk about, and I thought it was time to finish things up.
"Well, that's all we had to say. But as I sit here now, I just have this feeling that it was pitifully inadequate for such a vast subject. But we've got this list of books that we recommend, and..."
But Keri interrupted. All of sudden she asked, "How often do married couples usually have sex?" The question just popped right out, but perhaps asking it startled Keri a bit. As soon as it was out, she looked like she had second thoughts about its propriety, and she blushed. But the question was on the table.
There was sort of an uneasy pause, but finally I responded in typical teacher form, "Well, there really is no 'right' frequency. This top book on our list here indicates that many happily married couples probably on average make love from one to three times a week. But some couples might be happy with less, others might enjoy it more often."
At this point Laurie jumped back in. "Now that brings up a really delicate point. Terry just said that many wives are not in the mood quite as often as their husbands. What should the wife do then? Well, here the books just disagree. Some authors recommend that a wife should pretty much always accept her husband's advances, while other authors say just the opposite--that doing that makes sex less desirable. So which philosophy do you choose? The best I can make out is that the choice should really be made on the basis of your individual personalities. I think that in most cases, the second approach is better. I think you can really add some pizzazz to your sex life by sometimes saying no. But personalities come into play here. This might not work for every couple."
Mike asked, "Does it work for you guys?"
Laurie and I looked at each other. I think maybe both of us felt just a touch of embarrassment or self-consciousness. This seemed to be getting more personal than we had anticipated, but I thought we owed them an answer.
"Yes, it works for us. Laurie and I both thoroughly enjoy our sexual relationship. But I do seem to be in the mood a little more often than she is. If Laurie says no, I don't feel the least bit rejected. She does it in...well, let's just say in such cute ways, that it really does add pizzazz."
Laurie added, "There's one other thing to keep in mind, Keri. If you find yourself desiring sex a lot less often than Mike, something else is going on. If that happens, the two of you should probably see our pastor or a couselor."
When Laurie finished, the two of them just sat there. Either they had no more questions, or they were too embarrassed to ask them. Anyway, I decided to step in and fill the void with something that I thought was really clever of me. "There's one point that I'd like to make that combines two of our topics tonight: headship and sex." I turned to Mike: "Just because you're the head of the house, don't think that you can't help with the chores! Listen: helping with the dishes or vacuuming the carpet without being asked is a very effective method of foreplay."
Both Mike and Keri laughed heartily at this. Laurie looked at me, and she was smiling too.
At this point our serious discussion ended. We were all hungry and decided it was time to leave for the restaurant. Mike said that he would drive, so Laurie and I got to sit in the back seat. Boy! How long had it been? It was just like when we were dating and went on a double date. So much fun riding in the back seat! Well, tonight things had gone pretty well, and I was feeling quite happy. Laurie snuggled up close to me, and I put my arm around her. She rested her hand on my leg.
After Mike parked the car, he and Keri got out immediately and started walking toward the entrance. They were holding hands and almost seemed as if they had forgotten about us. I made a mental note to talk to Mike once we joined them in the restaurant about opening the car door for Keri. Anyway, they were already some distance from the car when I made it around to open the door for Laurie. I always hold doors open for her just because that is what a gentleman does. I believe in those old fashioned courtesies. But in the case of the back seat of a car, this particular courtesy has an additional benefit. It just seems impossible for a girl in a skirt to get out from the back seat without giving someone standing at the door a brief but exciting look at shapely thighs. Laurie knows what turns me on, and when no one else is around, she is not always as careful as she could be with the position of her skirt. That was just one sign of the intimacy we share. Tonight I held out my hand, and as she took it and put her first leg out the door, I was treated to a quick flash of panties, the color somewhat dimmed by the pantyhose but discernable.
Then we started walking after Mike and Keri. I shook my head a little bit and smiled at her. Putting my arm around her shoulder, I gave her a brief hug. She looked at me and smiled back. Laurie knew exactly what had just taken place between us. It is indeed a wise girl who keeps her husband's thoughts filled with her--and with what that night might hold in store for him.
We walked into the restaurant with her arm in mine.
Some may consider my attitude in this regard adolescent: a little boy trying to look up a girl's skirt. Gee whiz: will he never grow up? But I am not a little boy, and it still gives me a big thrill to do just that with Laurie. Just a small thing, really, but it is the small things like this that keep the electricity snapping and crackling in a marriage. Some guys may think they are really sophisticated and adult when they look at dirty pictures of naked women. Such men have evidently missed a very basic principle of sexual allurement. As a result, they lose out on the enjoyment of a desire that builds in intensity. Really intense sexual desire does not come in a moment, so a wife should not reveal everything at once. She can use lingerie and, yes, even her normal clothes to reveal enough: a quick, teasing flash here, a tantalizing glimpse there--but also use them to conceal the rest in just the right balance in order to stimulate the male imagination to do its work. That is what slowly builds desire to a grand, climaxing crescendo. Walking into our bedroom and seeing Laurie stark naked would do a lot less for me than watching her get out of a car in a skirt or slowly undress before bed.
The dinner was relatively uneventful, and Mike and Keri dropped us off in front of our house. After doing the necessary evening chores, Laurie and I walked into the bedroom. We were still fully clothed.
"Well, I think our 'counseling session' went pretty well tonight," I said.
"I do too. I think they're going to be very happy together. I love weddings!"
However, with this romantic foundation in place, I was interested in pursuing activities related to our own romance. I grabbed Laurie's arm suddenly and with a slight smile said, "Hey, you, come over here."
I led her by the arm and eased her down into a sitting position on the side of the bed. Sitting down beside her, I put one arm around her shoulder and my other hand on her leg. "I've been fantasizing about pulling your skirt up all evening!"
A bit direct, I will admit, but sometimes it has its effect.
Laurie assumed one of her humorous frowns and turned her head toward me. "Boy, who would have thought my loving husband had such a base imagination!"
I began slowing sliding the hem of her skirt higher, as I let me fingers glide over that shapely, nylon-covered leg. Higher and higher I went, nearing the top of her thigh.
Laurie just lowered her head and watched this maneuver with an amused expression. When her skirt reached a scandalous height, I stopped and curved my fingers around the inside of her thigh and gave her leg a gentle squeeze.
At this point Laurie turned toward me and, squinting somewhat, assumed her best quizzical expression, which generally implied a forthcoming tongue-in-cheek comment. "You know, Terry, I was thinking...with all that advice I was passing out tonight, maybe I should practice what I've been preaching." Then she looked up and appeared to stare off into space with a puzzled look on her face. "Where did I read that...was it Louis L'Amour, or maybe it was a movie...Anyway, a saloon girl said, 'The longer you make a man wait for it, the more he likes it.'"
I smiled, but Laurie could not see my face at the moment. Curses. She is probably thinking of saying no tonight. But since I could not think of any clever retort, I jumped up on the bed and moved around behind her in a kneeing position. With both hands I began to massage her shoulders. Her response was encouraging. She closed her eyes, leaned her head back slightly, and sighed softly.
After a few moments of this I stopped the massage but decided to continue with my seduction routine. Starting from her shoulders, I ran my hands down in front and traced the outline of her bra beneath her blouse.
Then taking her shoulders once again, I turned her slightly and gentling laid her down on the bed. I took her skirt and pulled it down to its proper length, straightening and smoothing it as I did so. This was all standard foreplay procedure when Laurie was wearing a skirt. I enjoyed going through that ritual of pulling it up a number of times. A true fantasy that becomes real life with a real girl--one of the great benefits of marriage!
With her skirt now properly in place, I began again. Taking the hem in my hands above each leg, I slowly began pulling her skirt up. Laurie put her hands behind her head on the pillow and began watching me intently, with just a hint of a not-so-innocent smile on her face.
"You do that so adroitly," she said. "It must have something to do with physics." Then with an intonation that virtually dripped sweet innocence, she asked, "Where did you learn how to pull up a girl's skirt? Quantum field theory?"
I could not help but laugh a little. Evidently, Laurie remembered a talk we must have had once about physics. I looked thoughtfully into space. "Well, no, we didn't explicitly cover that procedure in any class I recall. However, when I teach elementary mechanics, I do discuss the basic physics that explains why a girl's skirt goes up when she twirls around while dancing or ice skating."
"You're incorrigible!" Laurie said, again laughing a little.
But quantum field theory was not at all what I had on my mind at present. Leaving her skirt pretty high and still kneeling beside her, I took both hands and cupped them around her ankle. Then very slowly I began to bring my hands upward, gentling squeezing and massaging her leg as I went. I did this along the entire length of her leg, pushing her skirt the rest of the way up. Ah, the delightful, silky feel of hosiery! It is equally as sexy as bare skin, just in a different way. At the top of her thigh I played lightly with one finger.
"Let me just help you off with these," I said. Reaching for the waistband of her pantyhose, I sliped them off. Then I pulled her skirt down once again.
I lay down beside her and took her in my arms. Laurie reached out for me. We embraced and begin kissing. During a brief pause, she put her hand on my face and began a gentle caress that reached around until she cradled the back of my head in her hand, my hair running through her fingers.
We kissed again. Then I began teasing her breast as I kissed her neck and ear. As we were rocking slightly on the bed, she wrapped one of her legs around me. I could sense that passion was beginning to build in Laurie's response.
During another short pause, my eyes darted quickly downward to look at her leg. I really could not see much, but by this time her skirt was all the way up to her waist. I reached down with one hand and began squeezing and caressing her bottom, ecstatic with the silky feel of her panties.
But then I stopped and pushed myself to an upright position leaning back on my knees. With a look of humorous suspicion, I said, "Hey, I thought you were going to say no tonight."
"Are you crazy? Get back down here!"
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